
Well you held me like a lover
Sweaty hands
And my foot in the appropriate place
And we use cushions to cover
Happy glands
In the mild issue of our disgrace
Our minds pressed and guarded
While our flesh disregarded
The lack of space for the light-hearted In the boom that beats our drum
Well I know I make you cry
And I know sometimes you wanna die
But do you really feel alive without me?
If so, be free
If not, leave him for me
Before one of us has accidental babies For we are in love
we all like to believe we dont care. its much safer that way.
to be neutral.
unaffected.
careless.
to have poignant disregard.
to be detached.
but most of the time no matter what we tell others, no matter what we tell ourselves. we are oh so involved. and being involved, and having feelings and being vulnerable scares the hell out of us.
so we lie.
we lie to our friends.
we lie to our parents.
we lie to our loved ones.
we lie to him.
but the darkness of a cold december night will always get the best of you, and if you denied how you felt before, youll feel every inch of it on your way down.
sometimes this is too much to bear. if nothing else it may be too much to bear alone.
what are we so scared of anyway? that someone's going to call us out for being ourselves, a person we can't help being? that someone will see that we are insecure, uncertain, anxiety-ridden and scared? that we are human? that we care more than we want everyone to believe?
apathy as much as it is criticized is in fact an almost utopian ideal. if we didnt care it might possibly make the world a more perfect place. but apathy is in fact a lie. complete and pure apathy does not exist.
my facebook political status says apathetic. but this is very much a lie. maybe i dont have all of my political views sorted out into a neat little genre, but i do care. i think affirmative action is a load of shit. i think the US needs to stop relying on foreign countries for so much. i think the drinking age should be lowered to 18.
these are certainly not statements made by a true apathetic. i may not enjoy political arguments. i may not be very well versed in the area of politics. but i have opinions. feelings. convictions. we all do.
so the next time you go all day without talking to the one you care about, and they tell you theyre fine.
theyre not.
the next time she says shes ok.
shes not.
the next time she says shes over you.
shes not.
the next time she seems sad and says shes fine.
shes not.
the next time she says shes over him.
shes not.
we all care a lot more than we'll ever admit. in the end we're all just kidding ourselves.
so ive been meaning to say it for a while because your last several entries have hit DEAD ON, to the point it really just truly amazes me how on page our lives can be and are....
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