3/26/06 10:44pm

So i decided. the gilbert twins do in fact own my face. these girls are awesome and if you dont know them already you should highly consider giving them a try sometime.

I am so tired from doing all these little photo shoots with people and im ready to be done with this project but it is so much fun. i call it networking at its finest. for those of you reading this although i dont think there are many of you, i will have the image vs reality series up somewhere on the internet at some point later on in the week for all to see and enjoy.

this week is gonna be crazay and of course ive got severe senioritis and am completely incapable of doing anything im supposed to do. geez whats my problem.

thats all for now. will you go to prom with me and dance and dance and dance and dance and dance and dance?

3/25/06 1:16 am

Here's to another weekend during which i will try to be productive and probably fail miserably.

Spring break is a week away.

I cant believe this fact.

Now to clear up a few common misconceptions about yours truly, Angelodundee:

*So about the alcohol. A lot of people think im like the freakin president of the society of anti-acohol or something. i dont know why people associate this so much with me. i suppose it started when all my friends started drinking several years ago, i guess i overreacted, but contrary to popular belief, i find the whole thing to be no big deal now. it is so commonplace, and i have no problems with it, it is a personal choice whether or not you choose to partake in that kind of thing, and who i am to try to prevent you from doing so, and better yet, who are you for judging me for not doing so? this shouldnt be made a big deal and i feel like even writing about it now is making it into a bigger deal than it needs to be, but i just want people to realize how i feel and accept me as normal and not push me asside like they're trying to shelter me from the world or something.

Why do i choose not to drink? i have my reasons, but honestly do you really even care? my most pansy-assed reason is that it is seriously truthfully not in my best interest medically to do so. my blood is thinner than water as is, and i might as well call one of my free-time leisure activities bleeding, i do it so much, so further thinning my blood with alcohol prob wouldn't help this. secondly i just dont like putting junk in my body. i shy away from a lot of medicine because i just try not to become too dependent on unnatural things to stabilize myself, sounds weird i know but its true. finally, i just dont really want to. i reserve the right to change my mind at any give time, but i just dont really need anything else to make my life more complicated. lets be honest, if you know me, im retarded enough without the extra killing of brain cells. i can do that just fine on my own thank you very much.

*I swear i'm not a bitch: ok yes i get in spirited arguments/discussions sometimes. but you have to understand that girls are just that way; we live to blab each other's heads of with our own judgements and reasonings and opinions of other girls...its just how we operate. its a very unfortunate thing.

*Im trying not to be so stuck on myself, i promise: it has recently come to my attention that i am in fact a complete and total distgusting narsicist. i hate this about myself but i know its true. i cant have too much hubris or i might kill my mom and have sex with my dad (woah ok for those of you not in college english that was totally and edipus reference that has no valid or true pertinence to my actual life please dont freak out or send concerned emails). but seriously, pride is a dangerous thing, and no one likes someone whos stuck on herself. therefore i resolve to try to no longer be "that girl."

*I am not a kick-ass photographer: ok yes, compared to the average disposable camera snapshot in the poorly lit back section of a local restaurant my pictures look pretty good. but for the most part i am typically displeased with my work, it may look good to the average viewer, but i know i have a lot of work to do before i can even consider myself somewhat of a "photographer", geez if you can even call me that.

*I am not a model: geez people when you say stuff like this, you are only feeding the fire of my point number 3 (im stuck on myself). is that what you really want to do? is it really?cmon...until i grow about 7 inches taller, lose about 20 pounds, get some serious rhinoplasty and reconstructive surgery, i dont think ill be entering that lucrative field

*I apparently am intimidating...this is very false: once you get to know me youll see im transparent. im an open book. ill tell you everything you want to know and then about two stops past what you dont want to know. im ackward, flawed, spacey, and a little weird. i eat funny. i always get in and out of my bed on the right side. i cant dance. i have ocd and vertigo at times. i sleep with a teddy bear every night that has seasonal pajamas. i loveeeee cookie cake. the most exciting day of my life was when i got this computer. i take pictures of everything. i have a car named hans. i like whales. i mean cmon, you call that intimidating?

Well, as you can see, in true angie style i spent this whole time talking about myself (see point number three), and the world is NOT a better place for my having done so. Oh well, a girl can only do so much at a time, especially when its almost 2 am. : )

for those who were wondering hot haigwood pics are here
http://www.haigwoodstudios.com
click on albums
click on portraits
click on test
(skip the first page i look absolutely horrid)
sorry theres not really and easier way to direct you the html doesnt work!

3/21/06 9:16pm

Angie's Secret to Having a Good Time and Meeting Cool New People You Will Love:

1. Pretend you're an amazing photographer
2. Get a myspace and sell yourself to the public
3. Come up with an idea for a crazy series to do
4. Request random people you kinda know to be models
5. Let the fun begin!

This project is a lot of work but it is so much fun! I've enjoyed getting to talk with all the people involved and in many cases going to their houses (and their bedrooms, haha). And i'm actually quite pleased with the results of most of the shoots, i can definitely see the progress being made as a result of my internship. yaya!

The picture of me above is what happens when you are a model for molly's ap portfolio, you get to look like a crackwhore and wear not a lot of clothing and have intimate moments with people you aren't actually intimate with. fun times. too bad im horrible at smoking cigarettes. i guess though if i had to pick a thing to be bad at thats a good one. i just hate that things such as that reinforce people's views of me as a total naive little girl. oh well, i should learn to embrace it.

Things I Thank God For Today:
1. Chocolate chip cookies
2. starting over with friends
3. the value of self advertising for getting a prom date (see: me tomorrow)
4. that i dont actually smoke
5. swim team bonds: when you've already seen pretty much the entire Angie Show, it makes provocative modeling a lot easier
6. Hellogoodbye's "Will You Go To Prom With Me?" that songs kinda messed up and it makes me very happy.

oh and b/c i am a true narcisist, copy and paste this link to see me trying to look cool.
http://www.haigwoodstudios.com/mp_client/pictures.asp?pagenum=2&action=viewphotos&size=thumbnails&thumbeventid=7307&categories=no&keywords2=no&groupid=0&bw=true&sep=true&ckw=false

3/19/06 7:31 pm

These people are pretty much the shit and thats all i have to say about that.

this weekend was one of those weekends that you look back on and think "nothing happened this weekend, in fact this weekend wasn't really good at all" but at the same time you can't help but say that it was essentially awesome. i guess for me it was a kinda productive weekend. i worked. i took pics. i sat down for a second. it was a pretty good time. i think im finally realizing how close spring break and thus the end of school and the end of all this is and while its scaring the hell out of me its a good feeling.
*Angie's List of Concerns!*
(growing daily)
+CE research paper i sure haven't written
+Image vs. Reality series and getting it done well
+My portfolio in general
+AP Econ
+My severe lack of realistic prom date
+Where am i going next year?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I hear the secrets that u keep
when you're talking in ur sleep

3/15/06 10:01pm

I have in the past been one of those people who doesnt like wearing a lot of makeup b/c i hope that i have some kind of natural beauty that by some miracle overrides all the aid cosmetics can provide, but after today i may have changed my mind. Its pretty amazing what 10 pounds of foundation and 3 layers of mascara can do, especially when applied by an awesome gay guy named davy. today i had my test shoot with haigwood for the rhs senior pics. it was so much fun. i hope in my next life i get to be a supermodel, in fact im looking foward to it. its gonna be hot.

ok, and seriously, im not trying to be conceited or anything or brag or whatever this may sound like, but what happened to me? did i start wearing a sign that says "hey im legal" ? or did my face suddenly morph into something slightly appealing? im not sure but guys are basically randomly falling out of the sky these days...unfortunately most of them are at least 7 years older than me but i swear its kinda rediculous how many i've come across lately...if only i could find a freaking prom date. i dont eat scabs bitches.

3/12/06 10:09 pm
It is going so fast.


I'm freaking out.


Only 3 weeks until spring break.


And then its nothing.


Its going to be over like that.

Did I mention I'm freaking out?


Like today i went over to ash's house. it was her mom's bday this weekend. i can remember going to her mom's bday dinner and it pretty much seems like it was yesterday, definitely not a freaking year ago.

Meanwhile, im running around like crazy working on this image vs. reality thing, and unfortunately due to my lack of photography skills, most of the shots are leaving a lot to be desired. : (

I am also wondering who the heck is crazy enough that i can convince them to go to prom with me. its sad that i have to scrape around roswell high scrumaging for some desperate soul who wants to go to prom so badly he'll go with anyone...it mistakingly got overconfident and thought i was better than that. guess i was wrong.

no worries, i dont eat scabs bitches : )

last night i went to a wedding for internship and it was a lot of fun. makes you wanna get married just to have the really beautiful wedding. the groom and several of the groomsmen were marines...oh geez men in uniforms.

of course by the end of the night, despite the fact that im supposed to be working, i get hit on/asked to dance by the 30-something random guy from chicago that suddenly is aware im only in high school and at the mention of that fact quickly finds himself another predator.

highlight of the night: grandpa. this man was so old and could barely walk, but anytime a pretty lady walked by, you can bet he'd be out of his seat faster than adam sandler on speed and he'd follow her around smoozin it up.

oh weddings sure do bring out the best in everyone.

i think i'll pencil our next wedding at the studio in on my calendar and consider it a new recreational hobby of mine.

[some pix for those of you who have missed out on my life since the last time i wrote]

3/11/06 12:54 am
things have been crazaaayyy...ayl, internship, school, college english research paper that is alluding me constantly, this huuuuuge image vs. reality photography series...its all making me feel like i'm living out of my car these days, and if you saw my car, you'd probably agree...currently you can find a straw hat, hedging shears, a bottle of sobe, a metro atlanta map, a roll of packing tape, and at least 3 textbooks inside, oh the insanity.

i sadly and reluctantly decided wednesday to not sign up for pottery classes for the next session b/c of the reasons mentioned in the previous paragraph. i'm still interested in and love it, definitely, but i have no energy left for it and its hard right now to devote the kind of time such a hobby deserves to it. its so weird b/c i have constantly taken for almost 5 years now...its just another thing thats over and wont come back to me or ever be the same again...another step toward the end if you will.

so tonight, i received cat calls while streaking across school property, burned my entire torso-length of skin off after using too much bengay, had a really really steamy shower (complete w/ eggs and questionable noises), got in an argument with a girl scout, played hockey in kroger, all the while alluding the police and not dying. just another friday night in roswell.

i bought a prom dress with my mom today. she says i should go even if i dont have a date. its true i do have a few options, but if you rule out people ive never actually talked to in person and guys who have children of their own, that pretty much rules out most of my options. oh well the dress is gorgeous. ill work on the date thing.

well goodnight all faithful readers. here's to drinking your own pee and being ok with it. im gonna go try to get the bengay taste out of my mouth, how it got there in the first place, im not quite sure.

3/2/06 10:05 pm

i played hookey today. it was fairly awesome. theres something about not going to school when you're supposed to that is simply gratifying. i promise i was productive though...i spent several hours taking a shot for my image vs. reality series im about to start (about which i am verrrry excited) and setting up stuff on my new laptop!!! I love this thing, unfortunately i am still very unfamiliar with how to work it as it is a mac and ive previously been a pc girl. i feel now as a mac owner, ipod lover, gap shopper, and jetta driver, if i could just get a job at starbucks and some seven jeans id be a modern-day yuppie. w00t.

tonight kelley and i burned her bathing suits and other stuff we were ready to literally and symbolically say goodbye to. Unfortunately i smell like crap and kelley came very close to burning her face off and i got massive dog crap on my shoe in the worst kind of way, but we feel better for it. the weather has been warmer lately which makes me think of spring and how time is moving fast and all the positive changes that occur as a result of the passage of time. i feel like in the past week or so a huge weight has been lifted off of me...im no longer in the waiting line, i dont feel like im waiting on anyone anymore except myself...im no longer mentally tied to anyone anymore. it feels good. i feel free to be myself.

i hope this weekend goes well. its ayl and the topic has something to do with relationships. i feel like we could all use a little help and guidance in this area right now, i just hope it doesnt bring up harsh feelings in the group...there seems to be a lot of that floating around these days.

as far as im concerned, not much is going on in the male relations department...i wish. but you know thses things come when you least expect it, like in the coffee shop in borders...haha kelley you always make me laugh.

some say that kelley may not be the best friend to me, but i dont really know what a best friend is. i mean if we really think about it no one can be a BEST friend all the time...all i know is kelley and i can pretty much read each other without speaking and we know what makes each other tick and we know each other so well that it just works. period. silence all the critics. you're just being bitchy.

2/26/2006 10:11pm

You can say what you want, and i'll be the first to admit ive said some things in the past, but granville is the man.

Our swim team banquet was tonight, thus bringing an official final close to my career as a swimmer. Its sad b/c this is kinda the beginning of the end of high school for me, my first high school thing that has ended and won't ever come back.

I love rhs swimming though. I mean the morning practices suck, esp toward the end of the season when its 19 degrees outside and all you want to do is finish the season and sleep in, but the rest of it is great. The team is made up of some of the most mix-matched weirdest people in the school, who would never ordinarily hang out together, but are somehow bound to each other by the stench of chlorine and the innate urge to be a fish, though physically impossible. My theory is the swim team at roswell is made up of those who really truly can swim (ie: amanda) and the rest is a bunch of people who dont fit in anywhere else and figure they can at least survive in the water, even though they may suck at swimming. All i know is this: only at roswell high school can you be pretty much the worst swimmer on the team and be captain. i've come very far though, and im proud of myself...not many people can say they made it through four years of long cold morning practices, the wrath of granville, dangerous bus rides, and sketchy chemical levels and foreign materials in the pool water. plus i have swimming to thank for my bodacious upper back muscles of which i am very proud. i'm not an athlete. i never thought id do a sport. i never thought id be doing a twenty-lap race competitively on a regular basis and not completely sucking at it. sometimes just trying is enough.

i know when i look back on the team im just gonna have to laugh. i was never a good swimmer, so i prob wont remember any of the actual competitive aspects of the sport, but all the rest, i will remember, and i will have no choice but to laugh.

"and when i see you

i really see you upside down

but my brain knows better

it picks you up and turns you around

turns you around

turns you around."

2/21/06 10:26 pm

When i came home today there was a stack of mail from each of the colleges to which i have been accepted. mostly propoganda trying to convince me why their institution is "on the wave of the future" with the "finest facilities" and etcetera etcetera etcetera, then they give me a school sticker so i can make sure to spread the love all over my car bumper, locker, notebook or mirror.

Should i be freaking out that i have no idea where i'm going in 6 months? this may be the first time in my life i have not completely planned out everything neatly in a row. i think i may be slowly but surely getting semi-over that whole orderly, crazy tidy living kinda thing, seeing as how right now i am the most disorganized mess of a person ever...

One thing that occured to me over the weekend when talking to a friend of mine, who i believe has pretty much dabbled in almost every kind of profession: i have the right to change my mind. i think i forget that a lot. she suggested i go to school, get out, do what i want, reevaluate, do what i want next, then what i want next, then what i want next. she says you gotta change it up every now and then: keeps things interesting.

i say she's got a good idea going.

2/20/06 10:58 pm
Time is never time at all
You can never ever leave without leaving a peace of youth
And our lives are forever changed
We will never be the same
The more you change the less you feel
Believe believe in me believe
That life can change that youre not stuck in vain
Were not the same were different tonight
Tonight so bright tonight

Last year i had ms foss for phsyics. that was one large woman. everyday she had what she called an "essential question" that she put on the board, and hopefully by the end of the class we would be able to answer it with all the stock-piled chunks of information she threw at us during the period.

My essential question is this: What do i deserve? this weekend was a long weekend and i didnt go on the ski trip so of course i had too much time to think. but it is something i struggle with. i mean, do i deserve better than what i have? i kinda dont think so, but a lot of other people do. am i putting time and energy into things and relationships that are just going to be a waste of time? where do i go from here?

i guess my main concern is that i'd like to know what its like to truly not be alone for once. i want to walk beside someone and have it be true, genuine, and real, not some f-ed up mind game or some surface-scraping rendevous. prob is, i dont know if that kind of thing is out there for me to find, and if it is, whether or not i am deserving of it...im far from a saint.

i also decided that senioritis has symptoms that reach beyond just procrastination, school-skipping, and lack of caring. it also includes random epiphanies of the fact that we are about to embark on something insanely new and leave all the rest in the dust. it also includes angie in july running around like shes scared as hell and probably not acting like herself as a result. i mean its getting pretty bad. you can say o my gosh in a few months this will be over as much as you want, but its the random times, like the other night when i was listening to "tonight tonight" (see lyrics above) and just started really thinking about it, i mean really thinking...it just freaks me out.

new days resolutions:

+focus

+ do my own thing

+be myself

+lay off the dang chocolate chip cookies

2/14/2006 3:37pm

Oh another Valentine's Day. every year i say, "Angie, next year will be different and you wont be alone on VDay." then the next year is the same as the last, and the same as the year before that and the year before that. there was always that reassurance that surely, most surely, i would not be alone senior year. yeah about that.....

But no worries, because my chocolate fortune says tonight will be a lucky night, im pumped. unfortunately i think the greatest luck i will receieve is the possibility of a decent night's sleep despite the aircraft carrier of a heater that makes an insane amount of noise in the room where i am staying right now. do i sound a little bitter? i dont mean to be, but its just so gosh darn easy to do.

Some people argue that VDay is a commercial holiday made up to amplify greeting card companies' profits. i would agree, but there are other noncommercial ways to show your love on this special holiday, too bad those ways dont get you very far in the a$$ department. haha. besides, if i were to say that Vday is a commercial holiday it would just make me sound like a bitter angry woman who is just jealous that she has no one to buy her all these lovely things...oh wait, i think this entire blog has already made me appear that way anyway...well on that note: "Valentines Day is a commercial holiday" there i said it, and you think im bitter...no news here...haha.

The truth is the whole thing is kind of nice. its cute to see all the little couples in the hall doing nice things for each other and such, theres nothing wrong with a few flowers and a card, and as anyone can tell you, i firmly believe that chocolate can solve all major global issues, so that certainly cant hurt either.

As for me, im just ready for my long weekend. i want to live at home again, i want to be done with yearbook junkola, and i want to go to the gymmmmm. i think this weekend i will workout, rent fight club, take a ton of pictures, and bask in the solitude of the belguim chocolates my dad just brought back.

2/12/2006 11:48 am
I'm pretty much freaking out right now. I've been sitting at my computer for over 2 hours now with only one paragraph and not a lot of direction as far as my character analysis paper for college english goes. im freaking out. i have the worst writers block ever, i can barely formulate full sentences, much less scholarly ones.

I wise person once told me writers block is the product of something else being in the way in your brain so the important thoughts cant get out. so maybe i should clear the way for the literary analysis to get through. and that, i think i will do, so here goes:

to my friends:

1. i know whats going on

2. i can handle it i promise

3. stop treating me like im a retarded 4 year old

i'm so sick of this act everyone is trying to pull off. i feel like i've never been treated with the respect i deserve from my friends and apparently never will be. its so stupid how everyone tiptoes around me and keeps secrets from me about things that aren't important...do you realize how stupid and small that makes me feel? dont get mad if i dont let you into my life, because you never made the effort to be a part of it before, and you dont even have the courtesy to let me into yours so why should i return the favor? i dont think anyone else understands what it is like to have everyone treating you like you are the weirdest person in the world. yall have made me so unsure of myself in ways i thought i never would be. now i dont know whats normal and what isnt and if i am normal or not because even if you're pretty sure of who you are, when everyone else is treating you otherwise it makes you question things. is this the way friendship is supposed to be? people treating each other like insignificant pieces of trash? i wish someone could just tell me everythings ok and everything will be different from now on, but thats not how it is. i will never be respected, so i should just get used to it i guess.

sorry for the alanis-style rant, maybe that will cure my block.

2/10/06 11:14 pm

This week went by pretty fast. State meet was yesterday. we were certainly even hotter in the water if i do say so myself, however despite the fact that i missed an entire day of school to go to the meet, the closest i got to water was the bottle of Dasani i downed at lunch.

Check me out, i got my hair cut. w00t. i told her to do whatever she wanted, in hopes that she might just wack it all off, yet still make it look cool, but no dice...it pretty much looks the same, but that's ok, i always feel like a little bit of a new person after a haircut.

So pretty much im having one of those "hello my name is insecurity kinda days", i pretty much feel disgusted with myself, mirrors are not really my friend.

We had Ash's bday party tonight. Japanese takeout was a good choice. Yummm too much food.

Sooo i decided, after much lecturing from a friend yesterday, that maybe its time to turn over a kind of new leaf so to speak, or at least approach my life as it is now with a new outlook. i am currently lacking one really big thing: focus. I have been so off in my own little world not really getting anything done and not really holding on to the relationships that are truly important to me. focus angie, focus. time to get out there and do what you're supposed to do and be who you're supposed to be. focus angie, focus. get your friends off your back, angie. if only you could be a little more normal and get someone in your life and be the best friend you could be and completely abandon who you are you'll be just fine, angie.
psh im frustrated

"and your heart will belong
to someone youve yet to meet
someday you will be loved"

2/1/2006 10:38 pm

I realized today for the first time ever something about myself. its weird when you suddenly see things about yourself that you never thought of before. the thing i realized is this: I LOVE to daydream. i find myself doing it way too much, especially with the recent onset of senioritis i've had, it helps pass the time. hey, my christmas card said "for a dreamer night is the only time of day" i guess that quote was right. gotta go think some more.

"my oh my you know it just dont stop
its in my mind i wanna tear it up
try to fight it
try to turn it off
but its not enough
takes a lot of love
takes a lot of love my friend
to keep your heart from freezin
to push until the end"

1/31/06 9:37 pm

YB Staff is indeed very hot, dont even lie because you too know this fact as I do.

Woww January is coming to a close. When i think about where i was at the beginning of this month (i recall my first main memory of 2006 being laying in the fetal position in robyn's hallway freezing to death on the phone) and see where i am now, at the end of the month, i feel like i am in two totally different places, as if i am in at least some way a different person.

I see it too. things are different with my friends now. i dont feel like our relationships are the same...its not bad, its not good, its just different. I feel like we never really talk to each other anymore, we're all just floating by and passing time. And time is passing soooo fast. Wow what a month. Fare the well January, who knows where in the world i'll be sitting this time next year, but chances are i'll still be typing on this thing on the computer like a little redheaded nerd.

I already have an itinerary for when swimming is over. Eybrow wax, shave my legs, haircut. (Haha didnt realize until now that those are all forms of hair removal, you'd think thats what you'd do before swimming starts, but no it is very much the opposite at rhs) Maybe i'll throw in a pedicure too just for fun, its always nice to have those asian women barking at each other rub lotion all over your legs.

And of course on my itinerary this year is a well-thought out plan to spend a great deal of time at the gym. im pretty sure i gained weight during swimming which is not what you would expect but for some reason swimming makes me want to eat allllll theeeee tiiimmmmee. we'll see how that goes down.

This must be the most boring thing ever to read. however this is my life so as you can see, not much happens to me.

Oh yeah, on the way home from practice this morning (which always puts me in a great mood, btw) this bird flew over my car and poured out the entire contents of its intestines, stomach, bladder, and probably even brain onto my windshield. Good times. Felt like sharing that beautiful story.

"Maybe i'll go to the gym
so i dont get fat
are things more easy
with a tight six pack?
Who knows the answers?
who do you trust?
I cant even separate love from lust"

1/27/06 5:10 pm
That is how the grown up girls play dress up. (Sorry i was too lazy to make a filmstrip) Haha, i had a little bit too much fun with the turquiose eye shadow, but hey sometimes its fun to be different. Would i be conceited if i said i enjoy taking pictures of myself? Well regardless, i do because it presents a true challenge to be able to photograph something that you cannot see in the viewfinder in a technically and aesthetically effective way. i think i got some pretty provocative and beautiful lighting during this shoot, so i was pleased.
I hate weekends like this. No exciting plans really. i got stuff to do but nothing i really really want to do. Oh well maybe something will come up. tonight i have the pasta party for metros and then hopefully something interesting after that. if not, it could be sleepytown or borders for me. we shall see we shall see!

1/23/06 10:38











[a pic from when i felt pretty]

AAAAAAAAARGGGGG. i cant wait for swim team to be over so i can be put out of my agony and resume a normal healthy life. hmm probably not something the spirited team captain should be saying huh?

1/21/2006 1:29 pm

Haha the above would be Chamaeleon. What? You didn't know i was in a band? Oh yes i'm an accomplished musician.

More like i'm "with the band". But don't get me confused with a groupie. That I am not.

School House Rock was awesome last night. The bands this year were all really good with the exception of Fluffy Fuzzy Weirdos or whatever the heck their name was. Since I'm closer to Chamaeleon, i am of course a little partial to them, but i think they did an amazing job, and the crowd was slightly larger than that of their last show i attended. Then there was The Angees. I just have to keep wondering about where that name came from. I guess i'd like to flatter myself and keep thinking it has something to do with me.

I love going to SHR and other things like that b/c i think it is really interesting to see how talented people really are. Everybody can do something well and i think its cool to see that guy in your math class who never talks screaming his lungs out on stage. Plus, musicians are hot in and of themselves, i know you agree with me, i dont care who you are.

Soooo lets hope i can make it through the next little while without killing myself seeing as how between giving myself a concusion at the swim meet on thursday and almost taking off my leg on a chair last night there's gotta be a lot of serious internal bleeding going on. I shall plod onward.

"Now we say goodnight

from our own separate sides

like brothers on a hotel bed."

Haha i love this candy wrapper wisdome. makes me wanna eat more chocolate, as if i needed a reason. ooohhhhh temptation how you elude me on a regular basis. dont eat that apple, Eve, its not a good idea.
1/18/2006 10:24 pm

It never ceases to amaze me how much clay helps make me happy. im thinking about permanently keeping hunk of it in my bag to pull out and work with whenever i'm in a funk. makes me forget about everything. its dirt. its crazay.

No practice tomorrow! im stoked. im kinda over the whole swimming season right now which is horrible b/c im a team captain. but, i am NOT an athlete by any means and i'm pretty sick of getting up so early and getting in cold agua. meet tomorrow we get out of school early, works for me.

Battle of the bands on friday. im excited cause i get to take pix of something interesting and i think it will be a really good show this year. yay!

1/17/2006 9:38pm

So today was kinda a really gross rainy day, and to top it all off we got the privelage of returning to good ole rhs after a long weekend. oh my. last night i had a dream that i was on a plane with my mom to hawaii and we were flying through the clouds but it just looked like a road covered in a lot of water and there were cars whizzing by too. I think if i had this dream analyzed they would probably tell me i have a mental disorder of some kind. so i won't. haha

I also started my internship at Haigwood Studios today. I think its gonna be a lot of fun. Today i watched one of the photographers shoot some kid's golf equipment and clothing for a catalog. he had to steam the shirts to make them perfect looking. it wasnt very exciting. but thats ok i love photography in all forms. sarah r's mom is convinced that this studio is just like hollywood and they might try to "take advantage of me." I sure hope not i dont think that would happen, but nothing is impossible. i'm sure ms. colvin would understand if i carried a tazer gun to internship. no tolerance policy does not apply when you're in the photography studio, right?

P.S. Yearbook suxxxx

Oh come on, you think this is the best
pic ever, admit it. I do home shows, you know
give me a call.
1/15/2006 12:07 am
Hmmm not much happenend today. Went to breakfast w/ artner to make project plans. Who eats a burrito at 10 in the morning honestly? I guess i can name one person. It seems as though all is well between us now and i like that b/c we have fun together.

So to answer a few common questions i've had this week:
-no i am not on drugs never have been and don't plan on being, i can barely handle cough syrup let alone heavy narcotics an barbituates.
-no i am not depressed. from this blog some might think i am which is understandable. i think we all have our crazy moments its just a matter of how good a grasp we have of those times and whether or not we have enough gusto to put that up on the internet for the faithful readers to see.
-i am not actually truly pissed off (most of the time). if i was really pissed off, believe me you and everyone in the world would know and there would be no question as to my anger.
-for the most part everything is ok. i'm not sick (but i'm not well, haha sorry inside joke with robo) and apparently i look like crap but that's just me there's no real reason for that.

So there, i have single-handedly cleared up some common statements about me i have run into this week. Sorry for the confusion, i'm a complex mind i know. Haha!
Later faithful readers!

1/14/2006 12:58am
Well we know there's at least one person out there who was looing foward to this. As promised, Clemson pix. Only my fellow LaLas and myself would turn down an opportunity to sneak out of the hotel room and go to the ever-sketchy Fatz Cafe to dance around and take insane amounts of pictures in the room. What can i say? We're just a little bit awesome.

Possible future Clemson students in front of Tift Hall
admit it, you know you'd want to go to war with this
country any day of the week.


1/13/2006 6:20 pm

Ooh friday the 13th scary, not to mention last night i stayed in room 213. the weather was insane today, it rained while it was sunny, the wind blew in all directions, my car got hit by at least 2 and a half million tree branches on the way home, and the there's this supposed rainbow over my house telling me everything's gonna be ok. Oh goodness.

So the Clemson trip was definitely a lot of fun, certainly worth missing a day at good ole rhs. Here are some reasons why I, your fabulous correspondent, and you, the magnificent reader, should consider attending the fine institution of Clemson University for your post-secondary education:
1. The Clemson tiger mascot is VERY friendly, particularly with redheads who attend women's basketball games and make positive comments on the tiger's New Balance tennis shoes.
2. Clemson ice cream. The Food Science department makes their own ice cream and sells it on campus. Man i wish i had a picture. the ice cream is amaaaaaaazing, not to mention i got the biggest-assed double chocolate chip waffle cone and it set me back a startling 62 cents. ILOVECOLLEGE.
3. Tift Hall's bell. I have no idea how often it plays but someone today must have felt the need to have a serious jam session on the bells and it was nothing short of incredible. Cmon, when was the last time you heard "Bohemian Rapsody" played from a clock tower?
4. !Ashley's mom will come with you!

I mean those are just four of the many reasons. As for me, i was hoping this trip would help me decide once and for all where i wanted to go, or at least rank my choices. Truth is, i'm just as confused now as when i left.

The downside of the trip: having to sit in between ash and jen in the backseat for over 2 hours each way. i'm not knocking them at all, it was just a generally uncomfortable situation.

The upside of the trip: having our own hotel room for once. Muchos gracias to ashley for taking care of business in her parents' room. Yes there was a very loud mexi-party supply truck that woke us up in the middle of the night, and yes there was a "damn" funeral party getting ready to go to Wal-Mart (which was conveniently located across the street, by the way) but we had some majorly dorky good times in the room. Curious? Don't despair, dear reader, i will surely have pix of this fabulous occurrence in the near future.

Until then, I'm going to call some random people who won't be expecting me to call them tonight and try to find something to do. Because, despite my efforts all 20 things i could have done tonight fell through and now here i sit on my computer. Don't worry, i'm resourceful.

1/11/2006 9:36pm

Its dirty, gets underneath your fingernails, dries out your skin, and can be dangerous to your health. So why do I like it so much? Haha i'm talking about my own personal therapy: no not drugs, sex or alcohol, but clay. Yes i am a dork, but you have to give me credit, i'm a creative dork. My clay class started back up again after an over-month long hiatus which almost killed me as u could probably tell from previous posts. I don't know why clay does it for me, but its really relaxing unlike anything else in my life. Tonight i didn't really work though cause i spent most of the time sketching my thoughts as they are so jumbled and crazy i knew i couldn't be of any productive value to myself this evening. Is it a little weird that i seek solace in dirt? Probably. But i'm gonna keep saying it until someone believes me, i never said i was normal. But you love my abnormal self, i'm more interesting that way....admit it you do....

i had my internship interview with Haigwood Studios today. I'm so excited b/c they told me i can take pictures and use their lights, cameras, and equipment whenever i want and they said i could bring in friends to take pix too. So hey everybody come on down! PLUS, i get to go to weddings i wasn't invited to and eat the food. and my supervisor's kinda cute. Looks like i'm good to go this semester, yaya!

SO tomorrrow i embark with ash and jen on a journey to the far away boonytown of clemson, south carolina. w00t! I'm just glad to get out of roswell and hopefully have a fun night. i hope that this visit will give me the gut feeling i need to at least rank my choice of colleges, if not choose one. I'm ready to decide so when all the adults ask me where i'm going i can just say something straight up. Why do adults always ask you what your entire life is gonna be like? Do they honestly think you've figured it out? Have THEY even figured out their own lives? Oooh thats a good one i'm gonna use that on the next adult that asks....oh well basically my college visit means that you faithfull readers will not be able to hear from me until quite possibly Friday night! Oh the horror!
Well I guess i will talk to my lovely audience again on friday.
Miss me mucho, i'm just a red flash in your rear view mirror.

1/9/2006 10:19 pm

"its the beginning of the end" -amanda henleben (see babe i quoted you, not that you or anyone else is reading this right now)

We're over the hump i feel like i've practically graduated. scariness all around. i don't know how i feel about this, but i've decided i should just feel nothing about this until the time comes. just enjoy this while its here. thats whats important.

Meanwhile, Dark Angie seems to be retreating slowly but surely, and I hope i won't see her for a very long time. When i think about it, i've got a beautiful semester ahead and i cant wait to get going and hang out with all the new people i've met recently, meet new people, go crazy (in a good way this time), get the high school experience, repair ties with friends, "fuck the man", and of course take TONS of pictures. this is it, one last hoorah and i plan on it being a hoorah for sure.

Going back to school today surely sucked, but it was good for me. too much time at home is bad for the soul kelley always says. i feel energized now for some reason even though in reality i am quite tired. apparently i am bitter. but i am a redhead, and i am allowed to be that way when i get hurt, i mean cmon at least give me like a two-week bitchy window or something. i'm still scared of what's going to happen, i know what i've lost and i hope it all comes back to me. i'm still wary and protective of myself, but i'm getting there.

"I'm an idealist. I don't know where i'm going but i'm on the way."
Look at 06 i'm back!

1/8/2006 9:16 pm
All i see are dark grey clouds
In the distance moving closer with every hour
So when you ask "was something wrong?"
That i think "you're damn right there is
but we can't talk about it now.
No, we can't talk about it now."

So one last touch
and then you'll go
And we'll pretend that it meant something so much more
But it was vile, and it was cheap
And you are beautiful but you don't mean a thing to me
Yeah you are beautiful but you don't mean a thing to me

I get this sinking feeling, that i've been due for a nervous breakdown for awhile, and now my time has finally come. Not a serious one, but at the same time, this baby is not gonna be a little doozy either. My frustrations with myself and not wanting to be the perfect kid and the angie everyone expects me to be coupled with the drama mamas my friends are being and the up and down emotional roller coaster i have been on with my artner lately have begun to take their toll on me.

I remember when my grandfather died. I was in the fourth grade. Sure i was sad, and i cried just like everyone else. The whole thing was very hard on my mom b/c she was really close to her dad, so i tried to be strong for her. I remember one day a few days after it all happened, we were walking somewhere and she looked down at me and said, "you know angie, you have handled all of this very well, and you're holding up much better than i am. you are a very strong girl."
I guess i have always considered myself to be a strong person. at least outwardly. i have a lot going on inside me that most people never see because it stays neatly tucked away inside where it belongs, no need to get all messy and emotional, right? the problem with keeping it all inside is now i feel like i'm going crazy or something. and all of my thoughts on everything that's going on with me right now are getting jumbled up and it makes me unsure as to what i should be thinking anymore. i'm so scared of whatever happens next. yay second semester here i come with bells on.

1/8/2006 12:35pm

You know this story:
You're driving around town and you see a possum dead on the road. Yay. Roadkill. Pretty sick. You keep driving and think to yourself "Another one bites the dust. RIP little man." Later in the day you come back to that same spot and Mr. Possum has been hit a few times more, now there's a grand display of red oozy goodness all over the pavement that makes you want to concentrate on the road ahead, but at the same time you can't help but be a spectator and steal a glance. Finally, you drive by at the end of the day, and Mr. Possum has been reduced to a sickening red stain on the pavement, dotted with pieces of broken flesh and organ. He was alive 12 hours ago, and now he is just another disgust on your commute.

I am that possum. Whenever i get hit, i don't just get hit once. I get pounded into the pavement until there's not much left to look at.

The other day i was freaking out about how i can't continue my life the way it is anymore, trying to be perfect all the time and be everything everyone wants me to be. But now i'm not so sure who i want to be anymore, and i don't know where i'm headed. i'm so confused.

When everything is a certain way and its comfortable and its good you grow it love it. And it hurts so bad to find out that it really wasn't at all what you thought it was. I wish i could go back a month and live this all over again. i would have done more. i would have gone out. i would have stopped during those grand moments and really examined them for what they were worth. i would have soaked myself in the happiness and really cherished it while it was there. i'm so emo.

i'm scared now. school starts tomorrow and this is not how i had hoped to start my second semester. i thought it was going to be so good, but now i'm so confused and i don't know where to go or what to do. i've got supportive friends all around, but until everything is okay with one friend, i'm going to feel very alone.

I want everything to be ok. I want to be ok. I don't know when the last time i was really truly fully happy was, but i want to be happy again.

1/7/2006 11:36 am

It came back again last night. I hate it. It always builds up and then rears its ugly head at the worst of times. Amanda calls it "Dark Angie", basically the sum of my insecurities and mental issues. So whatever jumble that follows this, take with a grain of salt, its mainly a stream of conciousness that might not even be in english, and you are after all dealing with a crazy woman.

To all my friends, why can't u just leave me alone? Would it be so bad if something in my life changed? If i was maybe just a tad bit different than what you thought? Sometimes i get tired of being the one who hears about everyone else's fabulous lives but isn't allowed to have one of her own. I know i'm naive and inexperienced, but did you ever stop to think for once that just maybe i know something you don't, that maybe that's why i'm so different? That i am not willing to just accept whatever comes my way, i want a glorious experience in all aspects, and if that's too much to ask, then i guess i never considered myself a low maintenence individual. I'm not asking anyone to bow down and worship me or anything, i'm just saying i need people to be ok with me, and if u can't do that then honestly get the hell away from me, i don't need false allies and two-faced liars around. What i do need is people who will love me.

I don't allow myself to feel. Feeling is bad. Feeling is when you get hurt. If you can just go through your days like an iron wall everything will be okay and you won't have any problems, right? Wrong. I'm sooo tirrreed of just locking myself up from all the world has to offer me b/c i'm afraid. I frustrate myself so damn much sometimes.

Feelings make you sad but feelings make you happy too. Now that i think about it, i'm not so sure i've been happy in a while. God, why do i have to be like this, why can't i just be normal and ok?

The bottom line is i am so tired of trying to be perfect and be everything for everyone i just want to scream.

This must be incredibly entertaining. Welcome to the Angie Show, its just like a bad Alanis Morresette song except less Canadian. Everything You Never Wanted To Know About Angie Watson, here it is, i can't believe she'd put herself this far out here on the internet. Truth is, i don't know where to go or what to do anymore, i'm not so sure anyone understands whats going on and most of my friends are oblivious to most of whats going on in my life at any given time anyway. I try so haaaaarrrddd to be perfect, and i just can't anymore. I can't stay in this place b/c its just a vicious cycle that keeps coming back to haunt me, it alludes me always, and i just want it to go away for good.
me:

gusthewhale: u don't even know the half of it
gusthewhale: i'm dying
gusthewhale: i'm going insane
gusthewhale: i can't do this anymore
gusthewhale: i'm a wreck
gusthewhale: i've had this problem for so long
gusthewhale: and it just gets worse
gusthewhale: last week i thought i was losing my mind
gusthewhale: i can't be this way anymore
gusthewhale: perfect
gusthewhale: is not perfect
gusthewhale: and its not life
gusthewhale: and its not happy
theguitarsquall: say it with me angie
theguitarsquall: "im done with this shit"
theguitarsquall: "fuck this shit, im not being perfect anymore"
theguitarsquall: come on, say it angie
gusthewhale: i'm burning daylight
gusthewhale: i can't be this way anymore
gusthewhale: b/c i think too much
gusthewhale: and i don't have to be a bad kid
gusthewhale: but i can't be everybody's everything anymore
gusthewhale: i just want to be
gusthewhale: sometimes
gusthewhale: i wish
gusthewhale: that everyone would just leave me alone for a minute
gusthewhale: so i could just be ok
gusthewhale: this is me yousuf
gusthewhale: you want to know ginger the redhead
gusthewhale: this is her
gusthewhale: this is how she feels
theguitarsquall: and this is her at her finest
gusthewhale: this is her struggle

this is her struggle indeed. thank you for watching the Angie Show, feel free to return to your normal lives while she figures out what the hell she's supposed to do with hers, it should make for entertaining sequential episodes.

1/6/2006 8:53pm
What would we do without our friends, honestly?
Jenny Reeves says 'your parents are there to guide you but your friends take the journey with you' and she's pretty dang smart, so i'm gonna go with her on this one.
Today I took pix of RQ and Alex and RQ's totally awesome house. Everytime i go there i feel the strong urge to just sit down, relax, and stay awhile...however i don't really know RQ well enough to just be like 'hey wazzup i'm kinda just gonna hang out in your house and observe the world around me.'
The past few days have involved me doing a lot of things that involve evading authority and almost breaching illegality. Not such a good pattern, but an entertaining one. Last night Amanda and I scoured the aisles of Super-Ghetto Kroger and took pictures, all the while hiding from other customers, employees, beer guzzling college kids, and those freaky guys in the white Prism. Wow. Good times. My life is so amazing it astounds me sometimes.
Meanwhile for now i am concentrating on getting through Hostel, which i am for some reason going to see tonight, without vomiting, passing out, freaking out, crying, or going thru any kind of general hysteria. Wish me luck and say a prayer.