my compliments to Jordan Fabulous for these pictures taken on wednesday. haha and the funny thing that i just realized is that that isnt my camera im holding there. the light was beautiful out there, but then again i think it always is...i'll have to go out there more often.

life isnt stopping for me anytime soon. i have so much to do right now, im so glad that at least one major distraction has been extinguished from my life, otherwise i would be even more screwed than i already am. today was kelley's last day working at the pool ever. i missed visiting her b/c i was at the studio burning cds all afternoon and ive become such a lazy bum that i couldnt rouse myself before 10 am. i dont know whats wrong with me anymore.

geez i have so many memories at that pool. i mean i really dont have distinguishable memories of certain things that occured, events and such, i can feel all those times she and i were there together whenever i go there. its so weird b/c now it feels like its gone. birthday parties, going there during finals week, early morning "swim" practices in the summer, learning how to dive via a hula hoop, synchronized swimming routines, getting pushed in at like 11:30 on my birthday. thats just in one place that just so happens to only be open about 4 months out of the year, i cant believe how many memories i have with these people...it makes me feel stupid for ever doubting them or ever screwing them over or ever not caring.

these people are my soulmates and my guardian angels.

and it sucks that it takes this huge thing where youre all leaving for good and going your separate ways for me to realize it.

you dont know what you got till its gone.

Why do I hurt to fly
Over every town laying down the line, no
Die in the clouds above
You and I've a friend that I do not love

I wake up, it's a bad dream
No one on my side
I was fighting
But I just feel too tired to be fighting
Guess I'm not the fighting kind
Wouldn't mind it
If you were by my side
But you're long gone
Yeah you're long gone now

"a bad dream" keane