please be kind and rewind.

if i could do it again i wouldnt do it the same.

i'd have spent less time with senor asshole and more time with the obvious. the person standing in front of me everyday. the person quietly observing from afar. the person who would have taken me to prom. the person who wont hurt me and i know it.

unfortunately in life we dont have that luxury. yesterday is history tomorrow is a mystery we have only today let us begin.

so i begin.

i begin a new life in a new place all on my own. i feel lonely and quite discombobulated if you want to know the truth. making friends is not easy, especially when you come off of having basically the greatest group of friends ever. but i think above all i can be happy with just casual friends. ive heard it said so many times that you meet your best friends in college but i dont think i would be so far fetched to say that maybe kelley and i are an exception to the rule. the important trick to being alone is just to find comfort in knowing that somewhere out there in the world, someone loves you.

and someone does. i think a few people do.

im a happy fish. b/c someone out there cares enough to know that this is unconventional and doesnt make sense and may not work but willing to try b/c its that important.
im so happy about all this.

i wish i wasnt so far away.

but sometimes in the end its the phonecalls and the letters and the emails and the stupid things that make it work.

if you can tough this out you can handle anything.

and that makes me a happy girl.