delicious surprise

calm down kids the name of this entry is also the title of a song. hah.

i am home and have been since wednesday evening which is why i haven't written because for once in my life i have something more important to do than be on facebook and the world wide web all the time. i can't say i've done too many remarkable things in the time i've been home, but i have enjoyed every second of it. from chilling with my mom in my bed half the day, to running in coldstone with the weird manager boy right before they closed, to chattin it up with heather today, to just driving around my home town and knowing where everything is, and let's not even think about skipping over the amazing afternoon/evening i had yesterday.

and hopefully it only gets better from here on out. im leaving tomorrow for charleston for a few days with two of my best friends. im sure we'll spend the bulk of the time eating things no proper diet would allow for, listening to rediculous music, getting crazy in the hotel room, walking the streets, shopping, and of course discussing male anatomy in ways no one ever has or should (in public places nontheless). then after that i'll return to the well to spend more time with my family which i have found i love so much and to see friends including but not limited to the loverly amanda henleben! i promise i will have no desire to go back to ut haha.

so as for yesterday, what is there to say. simply put, happiness. certainly a great deal of worry and nervousness, anxiousness. theres also always a sense of fear about these kinds of things, that maybe what youre gaining is not equivalent to or greater than what you're risking losing, but somewhere along the line you have to go with your gut and ultimately i just had a wonderful time. i can't say ive ever felt this way before and knowing that theres a chance i might not be dreaming or making something up in my head, that there's a chance it might be real is crazy to me. when you live with the thought of something, the dream of having something, the aspiration of something happening to you, when it actually does it is completely unreal.i feel like i dont deserve so much, i dont deserve this goodness to happen to me. but someone out there must think i do, and im thankful about that. this is something i've been dreaming about for a long time.

so i suppose this is toodles from roswell. haven't totally decided whether or not the old macintosh is gonna come with me for the trip but i'm thinkin i'm not so sure i trust hotel rooms so that's gonna be a no. i'm sure no one will miss me as ya'll are all out frolicking in the sand and getting extremely wasted. or sitting around at home. or going to class. one of the three.

I'm standing here until you make me move
I'm hanging by a moment here with you
I'm living for the only thing I know
I'm running and not quite sure where to go
And I don't know what I'm diving into
Just hanging by a moment here with you