Sunday, April 27, 2008

spring cleaning


i think theres a reason there four seasons in a year, and not just one and it has nothing to do with climate changes.

its about people changes. i think humans would go crazy with just one season. we all need a little variation now and then. i put my winter clothes away today. im going to be so happy to be living somewhere slightly more permanently, and even more happy not to have two houses worth of stuff crammed into one. im really not even that excited about school next year, i suppose its more all the stuff that goes with that. living in athens: not so exciting for me quite honestly, but going back to school to do what i love doing once again will be nice, being around peers and living in a more conventional college situation will be better and getting the unique opportunity to start the whole college thing kinda over again is exciting.

the Bible says there is a season for everything. Pete Seeger wrote a song about it.

To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:

A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;

A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;

A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;

A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;


I am in a better frame of mind now. I want to see things more positively these days. I think its important. Working alongside a girl known for her negativity and bad attitude has made me want to strive to do the opposite because i see how ugly it can be. such a thing is hard for a girl known for her brooding and harsh sarcasm, but im not changing who i am, just the angle of things. i want to look back on my life and know that i savored every second of it and every person in it and every thing that happened because i wasnt too busy looking forward to the horizon, hoping for better things to come, when all i ever had control over was right in front of me.

springtime will do that to a person.


will i ever be well? will i ever be totally normal? will i ever stop overanalyzing everything? i should hope so, but the odds are stacked against me.


this year has been an interesting one, i guess thats the best way to call it. unlike any other before and probably any after. i made some big changes, booted some people out, invited a few in, said goodbye, said hello, got my teeth yanked out and made some art along the way. and if theres one thing i can say it is this: never forget the value of those you keep close. you will never be able to even come close to understanding how important they are, but just give it a whirl for their sake.


maybe life really isnt about what kind of car youre driving, whether or not you have correct directions or even bothered to get them beforehand, or whether or not you even know where you're going. maybe its about the people sitting next to you incessantly changing the radio station, talking your ear off and making the whole thing worthwhile. love those people.

im off to athens now for portfolio review, wish me luck : )

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