moving out, moving on.

ok ive got about 7 more hours in my career at kennesaw. then maybe i can start thinking about having some sense of normalcy back in my life. cant wait. im really tired, like not just sleepy tired, but that achy bodily kind of tired. that mental kind of tired. i cant ever shut my mind off these days. all i wanted from this summer was to have fun, but im all too afraid that i will instead spend it questioning things, changing my mind, worrying if im doing the right things and standing on tippy toes trying not to hurt feelings when i have no idea what to do whatsoever. i wish someone else would just fix everything to how it should be for me. i wish i could just go to sleep and wake up and everything would be better.

i just cant ever do anything right. im not good at these things. and it all just adds to the stress building inside of me. but i literally think that if i make myself worry about one molecule more, i will completely snap. i can handle all this anymore. its not what i asked for, but i guess its what i got. i just want to be happy, to relax, to have fun, but i guess im not cut out for that line of work