$1,275.94

this is how much money i have made this summer to date. subtract the opportunity cost of a social life and it doesnt leave much. i'm hearing jeremy's photographic cadence in my sleep (no joke it happened), i'm hanging out with these people outside of the studio. this is scaring me.

and i think ive finally done it.

i think the people who said they would always put up with my shit no matter what are finally just too tired of my shit and arent putting up with it anymore. and good for them geez, im annoying as hell to live with i dont really blame them.

it is also quite possible that i have too much on my plate. i have one summer to do everything i need and want to do here, and i have always had kind of a crash and burn attitude about my life...just go and go until you cant anymore, this is the key to success. unfortunately you get pretty tired after awhile, and that is why i am deliriously typing who knows what on this blog right now.

so i guess before i switch topics i will say a few things to my friends:
-sorry the camera is my life right now, feel free to interupt me at any time, it would really be okay with me
-sorry for being moody or seeming like i dont care, i really really do, in fact in my own twisted weird way it may mean that i care more about you somehow. dont ask me to explain, cause i cant, i would suggest going with it.
-i am currently in the process of recognizing how narcisistic (sp?) i am and am attempting to correct this horrible condition.
-im still in love and theres no one else and right now i dont really want there to be, and he probably has no idea b/c im horrible at showing my heart and generally being a loving or even nice individual.

onward, now that thats settled.

last night was cool. it was random and people asked questions. but maybe they just need to calm down and stop being so dang practical all the time. sitting around the camp fire in a wind storm swapping battle scar stories with sidik and jordan= a pretty good time, we should do it again. this time without the catch phrase gang.

these types of things are what the last summer of your life should be made of : )