so this is what it feels like.

tonight was pretty cool...sorry i didnt feel like uploading the pics right at the moment, but tonight was a great close to the break. we went and got greg who was sad and playing sims all afternoon from the marta station and then came back for some major catch phrase action. for once there was an equal number of guys and girls...it was almost unheard of in my house. wooooo. its kind of funny how much the group i hung out with while in town has shifted throughout the break. the people i frequented toward the beginning of the break are completely different than the people i found myself hanging out with in the end. i love it and i hope my college experience becomes more like my roswell experience with time.

i think the thing i need to keep in mind this semester is how you never really know someone until you know someone. the people you pass judgment on or dont take the time to get to know could end up being your best friends. the shy girl or guy everyone looks past could be your new best friend, you just dont know. friends are awesome and having good ones is even better, and in the industry i find myself a part of, its all about who you know. so its time for me to cultivate those relationships...meet lots of people, and build relationships with others that are slowly growing strong relationships.

and i feel like slowly but surely im getting there. im finding myself again. im getting away from all the shit i put myself through and all the wrongs ive done and all the messes ive made and all the thoughts ive had and all the worst things i let myself believe.

and thisssss is what it feels like.

this is what it feels like to be comfortable. this is what it feels like to be detatched from constraints. this is what it feels like to not have to lie. this is what it feels like to be seen in public with your friends and have that be ok. this is what it feels like to be random. this is what it feels like to not be ashamed of the relationships you have with other people.

and thisssss is how its supposed to feel.