frustuuuuration!

i
well theres my drawing for pr so far. i dont like drawing self portaits, i already make people look ugly and awkward enough when i draw them, no need to do it to myself and make me have low self confidence on top of all that. sometimes i wish i made myself draw more, or at least art more. my entire childhood i can remember spending entire weekends or hours after school working on stupid little projects i dreamed up, creating all kinds of things, the kind of creativity i envy now.

ive barely had time to think, much less draw. if i can make it through the next two weeks or so, the rest of the semester should be piece of angel food cake. ive been in communication with several area photographers, and it seems like this summer will at least involve some kind of work with that, maybe even really super awesome internship with an amazing guy, though i think i lack the physical strength and lifting ability for that one. ugh, im tired of thinking about it so much. i wish there was just a happy road and you just walked down it and that was that, that was all the decision making you had to do. but i guess its not that like, so ill just keep freaking out i suppose haha.

if i could do whatever i wanted right now, here is what i would do (in no particular order):
fly down to some warm beach somewhere
enjoy some crab legs
use the million dollars that a random passerby gave me to peruse local boutiques
receive my admissions letter from the dean of the university himself
suddenly pick up some mad drawing skills
fly back here
step on that evil bitchy bride's face (yeah thats right, you sign that contract lady)

oh well. i guess im off to the high school and work instead.