im a loser baby so why dont u kill me

go cry about it why dont you?
go cry about it why dont you?
go cry about it why dont you?
my dear we're slow dancing in a burning room.


I am slow dancing in a burning room. cant stay here cant go back. my entire body feels tight. yoga helps for a while. i dont even really want to eat much anymore. i actually feel fine despite these things, but my body's reaction tells me otherwise. this is getting to the point where it transcends just being a little lonely to the point of being dangerous. i dont know what to do anymore. believe me if there were easy answers id have hashed it out long ago. but there arent. its so hard to find people you can truly identify with. everyones an alcholic or a pothead or a nerd or a combination thereof. theres nothing in between.

am i just, as they say here at tennessee, "shit out of luck?"

like kelley i find joy in other people's suffering. as horrible as it is, its nice to me to know that someone else isnt loving the college life. and there are still a few of us who have a little more than just slight doubts about our present as well as our future.

kelley doesnt know where to go.

jonathans out.

jenny's considering leaving.

alex is ready to graduate.

i dont know what the fuck jordan is doing, hes totally mia from my life.

minnie mouse apparently misses rawell according to her text.

helen wants to open the fucking window but she cant.

i want to get out of this ordeal without having to be on mind altering medication. i just want to take pictures. and be normal. and laugh.

i have no anxiety release anymore, and that is why somewhere between question 8: which of the following is not associated with anorexia nervosa? and question 9: the canon-bard theory differs from the modern theory in which of the following ways? i find myself clenched up wondering how im going to explain all this to the professor. how i can escape and still pass the class.

that test was easy. no need to worry. certainly no need for panic.

i cant seek my comfort in psychological medication and i wont seek it in chemical substance. i am not going to be that girl who loves college but doesnt even resemble the girl she used to be b/c she compromised herself so much to get where she is. i cant be that girl.

my dear we're slow dancing in a burning room.

im going to go to sleep now. i dont know when im going to wake up. lets hope sometime tomorrow, i still like the earth pretty good and all, im not ready to say goodbye yet. but ill go to sleep tonight and hope that when i awake pavlov's dogs will still be salivating into their cute little test tubes at the sound of the metronome.

just like he said they would.