hello internet world, its good to see you again.

well, its been awhile. that is for a few reasons. i truly have been quite busy over the past month, and i couldnt be happier about that. lots and lots of photography, making money (yay finally) and of course last but certainly not least spending time with the increasingly wonderful jbomb hottie (i believe that for the purposes of internet shorthand and to avoid any confusion with previous jordans in my life ill call him jbh from here on out haha). yes home has certainly been wonderful for a multitude of reasons. i only regret that i feel distant from most of my girlfriends here at home. i knew we would grow apart, i guess i just didnt expect it to happen this quickly. but i suppose thats the punishment i get for staying stagnant for an entire year while everyone else moved on with their lives. no matter, the truly important people in my life are right where i left them and they always will be.

in addition to my business i havent written due to a lack of material. this blog has become such a breeding ground for my gripes and complaints and infinite sadnesses about life that its almost like when things are going well i feel no need to write.

then i had doubts. i considered shutting down this blog. then i considered making a new private one. i feel like i havent really been able to write all i feel in this because it has a tendency to upset people (and no jbh im not talking to you). the truth is, im neurotic and often make up problems and anxieties in my head that in fact do not exist in real life, but i write them here and then people freak out. but im tired of having to put little disclaimers on everything i say. so maybe this shouldnt be out there for the public to see...

...but then again youve all had a year and a half long glimpse into my mind. if the writings went away youd still know the kinds of things i was thinking, you just wouldnt have written specifics, and maybe knowing the things i would never say would hurt even more.

i dunno.

but ive gotten used to this thing over time and after i came home from hawaii i really wanted to get back into writing in this. i got totally inspired to write about how great everything was and my newfound optimism. somehow today that got semi thrown out the window for reasons i wont mention explicitly here.

well writing one really long entry seems really intimidating right now. so ill split it up.