"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him..." Romans 8:28

Note to self: remember that.

Lately life seems like a frustrating struggle against one thing or another. Churning out schoolwork at a record breaking pace, fighting to correct my living situation and find a new one for next year, racing against time wanting to graduate but seeing it further and further in the distance. The thing I need to remember is that if youre fighting and fighting even if you eventually get what you sought, it's forced. Wouldn't it be better to just let it happen? Wouldn't that save a lot of frustration and effort and disappointment and stress if it just was what it was?

Note to self: remember that.

Friends are getting engaged right and left. I dont hear congrats all i hear is ca-ching. Hellz yeah time to cash in for my dues. seriously though i am very happy for all, but ive gotta learn how to put one foot in front of the other, maybe finally figure out what my major will be, maybe i dunno finish school in like twenty years before adding something like that into the picture.

Meeting with another photographer this weekend. he's from the ajc. hes asian. hes awesome. sure, ill take another asian in my life why not!

I am uuber excited about my next photo assignment. Now if i can only ward off graphic design long enough to get some work done on it. its very open ended. we are to create a series of four photographs based on a quote or song lyrics. you know im going for the latter, sorry folks no tired out walden quotes for me. so ive got to brainstorm about what would be a good song to visually represent. ill probably end up going with some emo death cab song from high school, or just generally a song from high school or early college. i havent been touched my music as much recently. im not sure why that is i just havent found a song thats hit my heart. perhaps this is a positive indicator of my mental state, which i am totally ok with. anyways, to the one and a half people who may or may not read this, if you have any suggestions for visually charged or emotively charged songs that you think might be relevant please post it here!

happy tuesday all.

realities

hopefully i can make it through another week of nonstop work, ive never been this busy before school is taking over my life for sure. the reality of not having painting skills and not being able to paint is now setting in. somehow not being able to paint correlates to not being able to do graphic design, which is more or less done entirely by computer nowadays. i try to be optimistic about the way things are going to turn out, but doesnt optimism also imply a certain level of ingnorance, of turning the other cheek to reality? and thus the reality of being the only thing ive ever wanted to be in college (done) slips further from my grasp. no worries, for now im still clenching onto that little bit of optimism that says youre gonna make it after all.

adding to the stress is finding a new place for next year. im glad to be moving, but i hate that im having to do it once again. its all difficult and logistical and political and difficult. i dont really want to deal with it right now.

cant wait to be done with this semester. im over the stress of this program and the negativity in my life. couldnt be more excited for the beach in three weeks : )

graphic design has successfully taken over my life.

perhaps not just taken over it but swallowed it whole. actually eating it away in its entirety via an acid bath is actually more appropriate.

im only on the second project and im dying! i have no time for the work in my other classes, and forget any kind of social life unless it is some kind of major or required event that i can squeeze in between masking off my gd project, failing at trying to find subjects for photography, visiting foreign grocery stores for ag and searching desperately for my lone carrot in the fridge. spring break are you here yet?

i wonder if its all in vain anyway.