realities

hopefully i can make it through another week of nonstop work, ive never been this busy before school is taking over my life for sure. the reality of not having painting skills and not being able to paint is now setting in. somehow not being able to paint correlates to not being able to do graphic design, which is more or less done entirely by computer nowadays. i try to be optimistic about the way things are going to turn out, but doesnt optimism also imply a certain level of ingnorance, of turning the other cheek to reality? and thus the reality of being the only thing ive ever wanted to be in college (done) slips further from my grasp. no worries, for now im still clenching onto that little bit of optimism that says youre gonna make it after all.

adding to the stress is finding a new place for next year. im glad to be moving, but i hate that im having to do it once again. its all difficult and logistical and political and difficult. i dont really want to deal with it right now.

cant wait to be done with this semester. im over the stress of this program and the negativity in my life. couldnt be more excited for the beach in three weeks : )