i lost my best friend today.

it ended where it began.

and it keeps hitting me in little pieces hurting more and more each time. after over a year a person becomes pretty ingrained in your life. and now im seeing how everything somehow has a connection to him. the worst feeling i could ever have was just sitting there in the park with my head on his shoulder taking in the last few moments as much as i could before what i knew would happen transpired.

i hope i did the right thing.

its all happened so fast i dont know what to think anymore. i cant even believe its real. so much of my life is different now...all of my life is different now. my future looks completely different now. i m not sure what to think. and i feel so awful, and so sorry for it all.