wake up and smell the coffee.

i just dont think im cut out for college.

it must just be me.

thats my new theorem.

but if it is me, then it must not be here, and it must not be there. it is me.

which means changes in tides come from changes within.

not of place but of me.

my experience is proportional to my willingness to receive it.

therefore:

this gets good iff (sic) i let it.

i wish i didnt feel so paralyzed all the time. why do i feel this way when ive really never been freer in my life? ive fallen into a place where i feel like i dont have much to offer other people, besides perhaps wedding photography packages. but ive got to find some good in myself. i dont even really know what its going to be, but surely God has blessed me with some other assets besides photography skills, flaming hair and intermediate-level baking skills, surely right? if i let this stay, it only gets worse, i already know this.