restless sunday

[a few of my favorite shots from our trip, on the ferry to victoria, canada]

wow its really really been awhile. im sorry blog for abandoning you, i have been far too busy living my life to write about it. seattle was awesome. it was such a great time for jordan and i just to disconnect ourselves from everyone and everything else and just enjoy each other in a wonderful environment. to explore and to get away. it was also a great test of relationship to deal with the planning and executing of such a trip, i highly recommend it to all couples. that coupled with my earlier europe trip has left me with a strong case of wanderlust that now reflecting back on my summer is ever-worsening.

this summer has been such a strange combination. on one hand it was completely different in that i didnt hold a job or internship as i have for the previous four years or so and instead chose to travel and work on my own business. with those differences came the familiarity of summers past where i got to choose what i did all summer and actually had some free time on my hands. coming off of a semester like the one before i needed the break desperately. ive known for a while that this is my last week here, but now with the prospect of this just over the horizon, im realizing the reason why ive been so reluctant to start packing: i dont want to go back. ive enjoyed this time working on my business and more importantly working on myself. this is the first time in years that ive really had the physical time to explore exactly what i want to get out of the next few years and what im ulitmately looking for past then. it gave me time to return to the location of so many long lost memories and decide which ones were important enough to keep and which ones needed be thrown by the wayside. i discovered that i need to be using my time better, and in that way perhaps i can revisit more of the person who i used to be, the person ive so desperately longed for since college began. the girl that sits on the floor all sunday afternon and creates, just because she wants to and she can. the girl that tries new things and doesnt judge herself or others before trying those things. the girl that is a real artist. the girl that doesnt make excuses.

i scroll through facebook and see all the people doing awesome and productive things like landing great internships, traveling to amazing locales or even just getting some courses out of the way over the summer, and i think maybe i could/should have done those things.

but i know that i needed this time.

i need more time.