insomnia

evil doughboy, obvi.

i have not been sleeping all week. well i do sleep but it takes forever to get there. this makes for increased prevalence of stupid mistakes like putting the butter on my toast before i put it in the toaster and almost landing myself in a variety of car/pedestrian accidents. just got a text from a client saying her deposit had been returned in the mail because i apparently don't know my address. omg im a walking disaster. im keeping my fingers crossed that this passes before i hurt myself or others.

every day i am more and more reminded of the eminent future. not only the immediate future of seeing my friends go and move on with their lives as i stay here doing more of this, but my future. have i done everything i wanted to during this time? not a chance. can i take myself seriously enough to do these things before i hate myself forever for not trying? we'll see.

i need someone to push me, better yet i need to push myself.

slow email day. i am soo bored.