numb.

did i ever tell you i HATE going to the doctor? the nurses and doctors don't seem to understand what im talking about when i tell them i have anxiety about the doctor. they act like i am two and tell me that the doctor's going to be really really nice and gentle with me. i want to smack them in the face because they obviously dont understand why i feel this way and whats gotten me to this point. its the reason im going to have to get one of those medical bracelets, its the reason i have panic attacks whenever listening to someone talk to me in their office, its the reason i HATE going to the doctor. house, bannana, bicycle, dog carrot ha! i still have the list memorized.

i think my doctor is convinced something is wrong with my brain. im hoping not. i think this doctor enjoys scaring the shit out of people on purpose. really helpful lady. nevertheless i think limbs going numb is a problem and probably not just the miniscule result of stress as some friends have hypothesized. webmd is so not helpful unless you want to scare the shit out of yourself. according to it i have a tumor growing on my spine. sweet.

good has come of this though. ive had a lot more time to relax this week and have been taking advantage of it. last night i went out to dinner and watched a movie. i dont know how long its been since i was able to do those things.

school cannot come to an end sooner.