fin.

well not really. i still have 2 test finals next week, and I actually have to do really good on both of them, but i dont really care as long as i can get through tomorrow. tomorrow is THE day, the day ive been waiting for for the better part of three years now. all the stress, the work, the tears, the confusion has come down to this incredibly subjective and frankly irrelevant and outdated process. but i dont get to pick how the process works, i just have to go with it. its funny because een though i should have been working or if nothing else feeling more stress i have an overwhelming sense of calmness today. not so calm that im not getting my stuff done or doing a bad job on my stuff, but the perfect level of calm. i can honestly say that i have no real preference as to the outcome of this whole thing. obviously ive worked very hard to get here so i would want to have that rewarded by getting into the program, but if that doesnt work out, there are positive aspects to not getting in as well. i think ive become settled with the fact that i have almost no control over the whole situation and that i shouldnt put all my eggs in one basket. so this is me, going with the flow...a new and foreign concept for me to be sure, but im ready to try it out for size. i should know the results in a few days, but just say a little prayer for me tonight that all my projects and i make it to class tomorrow in one piece, thats the most i can ask for.