it's not morning till you go to sleep.
do you ever feel like youre living two lives?
maybe its the school and home versions of yourself.
maybe its you as a daughter or son and you as your peers see you.
maybe its who you are and who you wish you were.
for once i cant fit my future, both near and distant future, into a neat little plan for myself, and this is a very frustrating thing for me to cope with. what i want and the way i act dont coagulate well. i just feel like theres something missing, and if only i could figure out what that thing was, and obtain that thing for myself, maybe things would finally fall into place.
my heart and my body are in two different places doing two very different things.
my heart wants to be an amazing person others cant help but want to be around. my heart wants me to have lots of friends and find talking to and indentifying with people very easy. my heart wants me to do what is right and be a genuinely good peron. my heart wants me to be likeable. my heart wants me to be unafraid. my heart wants to find someone to love.
but my body is sitting at a desk in south carrick talking to my keyboard once again, wondering what im gonna do until im comfortable again.
2 comments:
ur pics r'nt n e thing new and ur comments r kinda clishay
between working, being sick, and being out of town over the break, i lost touch with both my blog and with society. i've seem to shut down from people at a complete loss for words. im not sure what to make of this anti-social lack of expression, but for now im going to write it off as a funk. anyhow, i got behind on your blog as well. if there's one thing i do know, its that im also unsettled. the transition back to school has been harder than i expected, but the transition home, really home, for a month was not much easier. in my mind i don't belong anywhere, and that leaves me wondering, "what do i do with myself?"
your not alone.
ps nice title :-)
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