lets talk about "on edge"

so ive surpassed the point of being a little concerned or anxiously anticipating, im at the point of worried sick right now. this is not going to be another check the mailbox entry, this is about my apartment. my room mate has decided to move out and now shes breathing down my neck about why we dont have someone to live here yet. i mean come on, yesterday you were living here and now today you decided youre not going to. i cant make it happen overnight. now shes talking about attorneys and contracts and money and logistics, and its just like i just want to get out of here.

thats it!

and ill do what i need to do to make that happen, but i cant work miracles. i cant get everything organized on index cards within the next hour. sometimes you have to wait. i should have never come here in the first place. to tennessee or to this apartment. i should have known better.

but honestly im at peace about whats happened. in truth i dont feel the way i just described. obviously it would make a lot of things easier, but sometimes in life you have to make "mistakes" to get to where you need to be. so like i said, im at peace with what ive done. i just wish she wouldnt make me feel like shit for it, no one else has.

i suppose i need to be a little more understanding. ive put her in a tough spot.

off to another weekend in absolute solitude.