4/2/06 10:43pm (daylight savings time was yesterday sweet!)

Greetings from Rats Mouth Florida. Lucky for all you faithful readers, I have an internet connection here! Here's a random tangent from earlier today on the long car ride down:

4/2/06 3:35pm

Random thoughts on a long car ride:

I wonder what it will be like in 2 months to say goodbye to all these people I’ve been with in upwards of four years. Or better yet, what it will be like when I say goodbye to the people that are really close to me at the end of the summer? Its something I wonder about but don’t really want to think of right now.

My next question is this: How far does forgiveness reach? I mean even when people make really big mistakes or do really wrong things, is it possible that it truly was just a lapse of judgment or a moment of stupidity, or is it an irreconcilable condition? When is enough enough? I mean it is my belief that forgiveness is not only important, it is crucial. But once you forgive what happens next? Do you go back to the way things were before? If you do that are you just setting yourself up to get hurt or being like a stupid little child who didn’t learn her lesson the first time? Is it such a bad thing that you want to trust the person like no other and you want things to go back to the way they were before even though its not right and it ended badly the last go round? Why is it I just can’t help myself but be this way?

And here’s a great peripheral question: what is love?

I’m not exactly an expert on the subject. It’s pretty easy for me to say I love you to people because I think deep down we both know its not the same as the love you say to the person you marry. That love is much deeper and needs much more cultivation before it comes to be. I think there are different kinds of love. There’s friend and family love. There’s lust, which isn’t the same as love. There’s romantic love. And then there’s true love. I heard a man once say that if you feel like telling someone you love them, u must check yourself first: “would I die for this person?” if you can honestly completely answer yes, then that is true love.


But more importantly than anything, since this is my self-absorbed and narcissistic blog, is my opinion on what love is. Love is friendship that over time becomes something more, but still always no matter what has that core of friendship. Love is acceptance. Acceptance of what the other has to bring to the relationship, acceptance of each other’s faults, acceptance of the compromises you have to have in order to be together, acceptance of the love you have to offer one another. Love is adoration. Adoration of the good things, adoration of the bad things. Unconditional adoration. Love isn’t a contest, or a point-keeping game, no one ever owes each other anything; you both just always accept the score and move on no matter who’s right or wrong. Love is unconditional affection for another that just grows over time. Love is when every damn thing you see reminds u of that person. Love is when the person follows you even into your dreams. Love is being able to tell the person anything and knowing that they won’t judge you or think worse of you, and even though you may not always like their response, they will always care for you. Love is sometimes having a relationship that only the two of you can truly understand, but everyone can see the affection. Love is always surprising in nature. And love is most certainly blind.

Love is a complex emotion I’m not sure I completely understand yet, but that’s just me.

More goodness to come. Wish me lack of sunburn and good fortune on the beaches of south florida. i hope you all are enjoying your global travels or lack thereof as well. : )