4/5/06 12:55pm

We were on our way back to Boca from Marathon, but right now we’re sitting still. Some Airstream somehow flipped itself down the road. Good we just passed it, we’re moving again. Wonder how they managed that. Hope everyone’s ok. I hope even more that Tessa will stop yelling about eggs and obnoxiously blowing her nose. So we’re in for another 1 hour and a half drive, but looking at past instances, it is quite possible this could take the greater portion of the day. I’d much rather be sunning on Sombrero Beach or sitting by the pool back in Boca, but we deal we deal. I enjoy the time spent listening to all my new illegally-downloaded music loud enough to drown out the “ambient noise” shall we call it? and writing to all my faithful beautiful readers of the deep thoughts in my mind. Haha.

Let’s keep talking
Anything to stop clockwatching
Lately we’re running out of time
Aren’t we?
Crazy for running all the time?
Maybe.
Let’s forget we’re running out of time
I’m off like an aero plane
I’m licking your postage stamp again
I’m using my right brain
And I’m prayin that we don’t crash
Who knew I’d come so fast?

[CLOCKWATCHING]

It’s the greatest topic of discussion amongst my friends that everyone wants to talk about and no one wants to talk about. Time. Face the facts, we’re running out of it. But the next 3 months or so have been promised to me to be some of the greatest and most beautiful and most special and most memorable of my life. That is quite possibly what scares me the most. As far as leaving my friends and all is concerned, that part hasn’t hit me yet. I’m just scared that all these great times are gonna happen and I’m not gonna take it all in or I’m gonna miss something or not get everything out of my high school experience that I was supposed to.

After my 10% off stat test on Monday though, and a little bit of cramming for AP exams, and running around like crazy getting slides taken and photos printed for my portfolio, and of course wanting to kill myself with a few modules, school is as good as done. It’s all goodness from here on out. What I have surmised is that the best way to truly get everything out of it that I’m hoping for is to forget about all the sad sentimental stuff for now and just go for it.

I guess it all goes back to yesterday’s entry: mistakes. I think for now its best to just make the mistakes and go for it. When you spend too much time worrying about consequences that in the grand scheme of life don’t really matter, you miss a beautiful view. For now I’ve just got to take it all for what it’s worth and not think about it too much, cause I think it’s very apparent just from this last series of entries alone that I think way too much about things. 06 bitch, lets get crazaaaay.

Its not so pleasant
And its not so conventional
It sure as hell ain’t normal
But we deal we deal.

It’s gotten worse this year. People calling me and a lot of the stuff I do weird. However simultaneously, my creativity has flourished more than ever before, and the praise I have received for my artistic ventures has exploded. The conclusion? Weirdness=more creativity. It does get old being called weird all the time, but in the end, I don’t mind it that much. I don’t think I know how to be this so-called “normal” of which people speak anymore. I think worrying about being normal might be another one of those things that will prevent me from taking in these experiences completely. Truth is, I know exactly what I want, I’m just afraid to go for it. I know exactly what kind of experience I want to have. I feel like sometimes life hands me what I want on a silver platter, and I’m too afraid of what “might” happen to take a hold of it.

It’s about time I stopped being scared and started getting hurt, being the bad girl, getting in trouble, and breaking a few hearts. Don’t worry loves, you know I’m not gonna go off the deep end or anything.

It’s just time to stop thinking. After a year of AP Statistics, my mind could use the break.

Current Playlist:

Wisemen-James Blunt
Neighborhood #3-The Arcade Fire
Love and Some Verses-Iron and Wine
Clockwatching- Jason Mraz
Camisado-Panic! At the Disco
Saint Simon-The Shins
We Looked Like Giants-Death Cab For Cutie
Float On-Modest Mouse