on empty.

i think i may have officially run out of gas. i mean my sleep patterns have been normal, im not experiencing a lack of rest any moreso than usual, but what i mean is i cant really take this anymore. ive got pressure on me on all sides right now. its finals time, i know everyones under a lot of stress, but in addition to tons of work and test anxiety ive got added fun stuff: a room mate who gets on my case on an hourly basis about my lack of room mate situation as if i have complete control over the universe, im going back and forth with my next school making sure i have everything ready for next semester, im starting to think about packing up my things here, and im ending a whole chapter of my life which though im happy about the whole situation, its still emotional.i dont know why i cry anymore. i cant tell if its because im stressed out or because im relieved this will all be over soon or if its because im scared of whats next. honestly i think its a combination of the three.

i blame myself for ever wanting to leave here. at the end of the day its going to take so much effort and waste so much money and possibly even be hurtful to other people. sometimes i wonder why i couldnt just suck it up so i might not have caused so much damage.