kerouac said it well.

i had one of those "every emotion possible days today". in the end i found myself on the floor of the art building covered in charcoal holding back tears talking to my dad whos in chicago now.

you cant go back and you cant stay here.

thats what my heart says.

i guess its just normal to have these doubts. but i wish it was just cut and dry and i could know that these are just doubts and not instances when youre supposed to go with your gut and it will turn out alright. one second i feel one way, the next completely different. i say, i must leave here, this is not the place i need to be to do what i want to do. then i say but i will miss out on the college experience and who knows what will happen to me and what about the high possibility that i will fail.

maybe the answer to all these things is to get my mrs degree and then figure things out when i have a steady flow of cash coming my way in exchange for my eternally committed piece of ass.

did i seriously just say that.

then theres the portfolio center in atlanta.
i could go there. i could graduate here then i could go there. i didnt want to go to grad school, but maybe this is a good halfway compromise. move back to a city. have a strong degree in graphic design from here, then go there for photography.

but what if i lose hope?

what if i forget the lofty goals and dreams i have as a woman of 19?

what if i diiiiiiiiiieeeeee?

(emotional eating ensues)

my fortune the other night said "you will take a journey to a place far away" (in bed haha)

what's your road man?

gooood question.

try again later.