like the slice of chocolate pie you dont need.
like the pair of heels that cost 50 dollars too much.
like the awesome earrings that you dont have anything to match.
like the cute puppy who will rip up everything in your house.
like the joke you know will offend almost everyone in the room.
like the shirt you dont even like that much but damn it was so on sale.

somethings are irresistible.

despite that the pies full of sugar and calories.
despite that the heels are uncomfortable and will cause you to overdraw.
despite that the earrings are essentially useless to you.
despite that the puppy may ruin your life.
despite that you will be considered a party foul in and of yourself after telling that joke.
despite that the shirt isnt even cute.

we do it anyway because we juuuuuust cant help ourselves.

so despite the fact that what has happened in the past was not pretty.

despite all the shit ive talked.

despite the fact that i thoroughly convinced myself that all was said and done.

i realize that there are just some certain people who come into your life and leave you changed. they hurt you the worst but the highs are equally high and maybe even higher.

and you dont know why and you know it doesnt make sense and you know your friends are going to be dissappointed in you. b

but everyone's got that person. that vice. that love that will never go away no matter you think you want.

on and on and on and on and on...


Baby, baby since you've been gone I ain't doing so good
I don't get up, paint my face and go out like I should
Baby you turned a clear night sky into a dark, dark hole
And when I see a sunset now I'm just looking at a painting in a cheap motel.

Baby I'm going on without you
Maybe I'm even gonna get through
But baby I'll tell you something that'll never be true
Baby, I'll get over you

amy millan, baby i.

mr fabulous and i are done. apparently he and i were done like a week or two ago, which is what i thought, but when you still get calls almost every night and i love yous and kisses it kinda all doesnt make sense and you no longer know whats going on. im not sure how i feel about that relationship. i cant decide if it was a rebound or just me being stupid and getting caught up in things or just me wanting to hang onto anything familiar or just me wanting to be in love or maybe it was true and just bad timing mixed in with a little bad chemistry in the end. im not really sure.

worst part is i think i broke his heart. i should probably feel more remorse about this. both the heart breaking and the end of this relationship. i just need to move on.

haha back to where i was all these months before.

at this time id like to give another shout out to my "everyone would want to f--- us if we lived in the 40's bitch" ms sarah bluvas. of course i would love to have coffee with you darling. im guessing we have a lot of catching up to do. and yes youre right, i was not expecting such a request from you, but im oober happy i got one : )


damn that pie is good.