[the above are instances of kleptomania at its finest]
only one more day. two exams i am ill prepared for. im getting a c in math most likely. i took the easiest one i could. who was i kidding that i could go to a better school than UT. i cant even focus enough to study anymore. this is worse than high school. one more day. then the job interview my entire mood and finance is resting on right now. then home home home home home.
i just realized that whenever i do get home im going to have nothing to talk about. no untold stories from college. no secret innermost thoughts or feelings. theyre all here for everyone to read. everyone knows already. this will be a great time for me to shut the hell up and listen to whats going on in everyone else's life.
fuck you fuck you and all we've been through.
there are certain times when i am going along my merry little way and i realize that i am just a stupid little girl and thats all there is to it. just stupid. my world is so small. so naive. so inexperienced. so uncultured. so small.
sometimes you only think of your little microcosm. your selfish desires. your thoughts. your feelings. but other people do actually exist. and sometimes, your paths dont cross, things dont work out, people change, conflict occurs.
sometimes the best thing you can tell yourself is a simple yet firm no.
winter break take me where you will. im sure i will return a changed girl.
Saturday, December 09, 2006
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