rootless tree.

classes are officially over. i kinda have that empty feeling when something ends and you dont know what to do with yourself. but i cant do that. i must hit the ground running. i want this break to be productive, relaxing, beneficial, useful, funnnn.

self restraint.

our best friend and our biggest enemy.

in art in life in my mind its an inner conflict ive explored numerous times. where do we draw the line within ourselves? you are your own best friend and your own worst enemy. so whatcha gonna do about it?

this is the part where you get vulnerable. this is the part where you have to take risks and hope that it works out for the best. this is the part where you hope you dont fall off the deep end. this is the part where you this is the part where the paranoia starts. this is the part where you get scared. this is the unknown.

theres a point where you say fuck it ill pick up the pieces if they fall.

this is the point where you say, if hes there, lets just give this a go.
this is the point where you say, if he wants me back ill take him and see if it flies.
this is the point where you say, im ok with moving on right now.
this is the point where you say, i dont need you as much as i let myself think.

its Christmas time everybody and jmay says no one wants to be alone at Christmas time. and by golly he was right. i would love to have someone to spend this special time of year with. someone close to me to buy a gift he'd love. someone to go out into cold nights with or just stay in.

but this is the point where you say, just be alone be okay be still.