covered in rain 9.11.01

i remember six years ago. it was a tuesday like this and that night when i looked outside there was nothing in the sky.

nothing in the sky.

i was fourteen years old and i was scared to even go out on my front porch because that day the whole world had been revealed to me. no longer was evil just preserved for history books. it was the first time i realized that evil resides in the here and now. it was the jading of my generation, the first time we saw the world for what it was and the tenacity of the human condition.

and it was scary.

the main thing i remember from that day was peering out the front porch window with fox news blaring from my living room, seeing the clear empty night sky and being scared to death. there was always something in the sky, some kind of plane or helicopter or fuck, even a blimp or something. but today there was nothing in the sky, and even though i knew that if something were to be in the sky it would be a bad thing, i think i would have found comfort in seeing something up there. it was the first time i realized that the world is not safe and that things can change so much in such a short moment.

so now its six years later. im not fourteen, im twenty now. i worry now. i worry so much now. i worry about my future and the world and where i might find myself six years from now. but if something as big as what happened six years ago can happen in a matter of minutes, im thinking that its not worth it to worry.

so today i vow to seek happiness where i can find it. life is simply too short. its time to get my head on straight again and move on.

now im standing facing west
tracin my fingers round a silhouette
i haven't gotten used to yet
but its the brightest thing ive got
when im covered in rain